“We wrote letters to him during the Stanley Cup. We watched him through the whole run.”
“I told you! Devante Smith-Pelly!”
“It’s so close to home for them to see, like, a hockey player in DC who’s also black, who looks like them, who has a name like them. You know it just really make it come to life for them.”
Just sitting around, wondering why it’s so dusty in here. So incredibly dusty.
Update: Sauron is not afraid of hobbits. He was unaware that hobbits existed up until very recently. he literally did not have time to be afraid of them, they went from a 0 to 100 threat level in twenty seconds. There he was, minding his own business worrying about the usual Elves and Men when suddenly these kids are on his lawn and now he’s dead, like just;
What did— who–
did I just get one-shotted by an infant how is this occurring
Honestly I have to love this whole thought process that the Fellowship must have cultivated in Sauron, like…
“These children have found the Ring! But they’re taking it to the elves, of course. I will simply have to catch them on the way.”
“Well, the elves are still not to be trifled with, it seems. It looks as though they have a group of intrepid heroes, how cute! Wait, who’s leading them? Aw, hell.”
“OKAY! Olorin’s out of the way, and now I can finally kill them all and reclaim the- OH DAMMIT, IT’S IN LOTHLORIEN.”
“Well, okay. They’ve taken it onward. Curunir says one of the halflings is still carrying the ring, so he’s going to capture them and we’ll see how this develops. Thankfully Olorin’s still out of the picture and their little group just shattered into pieces, so that’s one less thing to worry about.”
“Aaaaaand Curunir shat the bed. Excellent. Trees, who would have thought? Okay, so we’re back to plan A: conquer Gondor, because if the Ring’s going to be anywhere, it’ll be there.”
“Wait, who’s on the– Isildur’s WHAT? Ohhhh. Ohohoho. Oh now everything makes sense. Isildur’s Heir is back, and he’s here being all prideful again. That’s fine. Really. I’ll just crush him and his kingdom, and then nobody can stop me!”
“WHAT? FUCKING WHAT? THEY SENT HIM BACK? Ugh, alright, alright, I’m cool, I’m fine. He’s still got that stupid wizard costume on, and I’m still stronger than he ever was. It’s not like he can come toe to toe with me, even if he does have an army behind him. This’ll be fine.”
“They’re… actually marching on the Black Gate? Sweet lord, I didn’t think they’d actually do it! This is perfect, everyone’s right here! Olorin, the human princeling, most of the remaining fighting forces of Men, all I have to do is kill them now and– Wait. Someone just put on the Ring. Someone just– That’s a halfling. They’re inside the mouNTAIN OH GOD NAZGUL GO GO G–”
…aaaaaand curtain.
you can laugh but that is literally what happened
This is the single best brief summary I have ever seen of the entire point of the Lord of the Rings trilogy.
The entire plan here from the beginning was ‘okay, nobody is tough enough to take out Sauron, even in his weakened state, we gotta do something so crazy he could never predict it’
‘what if we give the ring to a hobbit?’
‘give it to a what now?’
‘they’re like little dudes with really good weed.’
hamlet au where everything is the same but no one ever puts anything down gently, not even the background characters, if someone is putting something down at all they must throw it to the ground like it did them serious wrong, im talking flat out slam dunking anything in their hands, but otherwise the play doesnt change
Horatio: Goodnight, sweet prince [LIFTS HAMLET ACTOR INTO THE AIR AND SLAMS THEM INTO THE GROUND]
weird shit, art, fashion and fandom in absolutely no sort of order perpetually and merrily unrepentant. original art at the-realm-of-other
Portfolio at OTHERREALM
